Articulating/ & annotating haiku/ As my essay form/

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9/6/13 638am
Up, not ridiculously early, but early. I did check the NYTIMES and NYDailynews on my phone before I came out here to write some. I came out when I saw that the sun was up. It is a beautiful clear dawn and I get some good balcony shots. Maybe I’ll include one.

Well, that was a waste of 5 minutes. It also proved that I need to do something with this computer to get it working better. I want to add another hard drive and delete all of the movies and tvshows mason’s downloaded from utorrent. But I can’t seem to do it.

I guess it comes back to “submit.” I need to start submitting my work for a wider audience rather than just making my self the haiku, phoku, haiku pics, troubadour of  social media.

SUBMIT: I need to stick my head out and submit my work to the world. I need to find out if there is any merit to what I am doing according to the grandees of culture. I need to risk. (I feel a haiku coming on)

I need to submit/
To seek public approval/
Of those that matter/
#haiku

By simply tweeting/
My ideas onto the web/
I’m risking nothing/
#haiku

Am I wasting time/
Crystallizing my thinking/
To unseen haiku?/
#haiku

Ideas matter/
My thinking is important/
But it should be heard/
#haiku

Maybe ideas/
Are still important unheard/
For satisfaction/
#haiku

But my ego needs/

Desperately to be heard:/

Wit validated/
#haiku

I wanted to write 9 and format a nice haiku square, but this is what I’m reduced to. 6 self-pitying haiku. I think Tom had a good idea of annotating or explicating my didactic haiku. I like the idea of  going back to the centralization haiku that I wrote longhand, then typed in and made a photo of. I think the haiku I wrote about why I write haiku might also be interesting. But I need discipline. If I had discipline then I could revise the Brown and Jacobs chapters I’d worked on and submit them. SIGH.

But Haiku 1 is correct, I need to submit. I need to seek professional acceptance and validation of my ideas. Without the outside validation (& possible criticism) I cannot be sure that there is anything important about my thoughts. They become like the comments after a salacious story in the New York Post, just the rantings of a “citizen,” with no intrinsic merit.

I keep to my track of not submitting (#2) by throwing it out there where anyone MIGHT see my ideas, but realistically, no one does. Am I afraid of rejection? Am I afraid that my ideas are like the aforementioned anonymous ideas in the comments section of the NYPOST?

#3 states, negatively, that “I am wasting time,” but maybe this is better asked as a question: “Am I wasting time?” Perhaps the act of thinking and meditating and articulating my ideas in poems is a valid activity.

In #4 I get to the crux of the problem. “Ideas [do] matter” by and of themselves; being able to articulate them is a good independent of approval or validation. However, approval and validation is also good, there is something evangelical about poetry. You want to “say something!” You want it it matter; you want approval. Socrates and Emerson said that “the unexamined life is not worth living,” and writing my poems is an examination of my life. I think it is worth while and I believe that there is something that might benefit a reader. (This is the ego of the artist. I remember wrestling with this thought in 1980. I decided that some people have the desire to be heard, recognized and validated. Graffiti artists where who I was thinking about them [I was “Worship Bike!” then]. While most people were willing to live their lives without making a public mark, the graffiti artist felt the need, a compulsion, to be seen and heard.)

But maybe writing in this journal and keeping a record of my thoughts is reward enough. Maybe the ego of the artist is what is telling me that I need wider validation, and just having these little gems of thought spun into language is enough. I do have that ego, but I need to make peace with it. It is like Scott’s racing. Scott competes (loses and wins), but he is out there and it is the satisfaction of that public competition that validates the wins and loses of the entire race. So #5 is about needing to enter the fray. Perhaps (& prolly) simply writing to myself for my own sake is not enough. I am too infected by the ego of the artist (BS Artist?) to lie simply there and create. I do have @wQueens7 and WesternQueensLand to blog out my feelings and musings and thoughts (though my phone’s been locked out of wordpress for a couple of months). I guess this brings me full circle to #6: I need validation and it is time for me to submit to the jury and stop making haiku, haiku pics and post cards that are seen (& appreciated) by a limited audience.

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One response to “Articulating/ & annotating haiku/ As my essay form/

  1. Pingback: Haiku: DOVE | merlinspielen

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