Just Now

SO I slept late this morning, getting up at 6. On Monday the semester starts and I’ll be running on full tilt for the next dozen weeks. There are a few things left over that have to get done also. I want to do a better job coaching M.’s soccer team and work out my conflict with the mother of one of the kids. It is frustrating that a thing which should be so much fun has become a site for anxiety. I also experience some anxiety because M. often just horses around when they are asking me (a coach) to shape things up. I guess I’ve got to let go.

I still have that MS to send out. Gotta do it. In reading my work and Ideas I am convinced of the validity of the ideas, though the prose is -hurm- challenged in many cases.

I’ve got two new classes to teach, one of which is a literature class and the other is a cluster with two other professors teaching on a single theme. This will take lots of work, teaching out of my usual booklist and comfort-zone. I’m excited and a bit more afraid than usual.

I rally want to clean up and organize my office. It is and it isn’t a metaphor for my slovenly personal regimen. While I am good at some things, getting up and going, I lack the determination to order my world. Of course one of the pictures of Aurthur Schlesinger that I saw on his OBIT was of him (with a bow tie!) in a jumbled and sloppy office.

I went for a run today and for the first time in a number of weeks my leg did not hurt. I wasn’t particularly fast, though I’m not timing myself anymore (I need a new HRM). It was a beautiful morning and I saw lots of magical things. The sun off of a grave, an eroded jesus inlay a bronze woman weeping at a mausoleum door and a chicken-coop.

I also saw an older cemetery worker walking from his car smoking. I thought about how he must have looked when he picked up the habit. He is a sturdy, paunchy white-haired man now, but that is not how we look when we start smoking. Was he young and dashing once? Is he happy about the arc of his life?

my bike as it lays

I remember when I would get up every morning and ride up the 1600 feet to Grizzly peak. Now I get to run by an industrial canal between two boneyards. Sigh.


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